It’s 10:30pm on Saturday night and here I am, writing a post. I feel like I should be embarassed to admit this, but my embarassment is perhaps worthy of further exploration.
This sense of “shame” is due to the axiom that a single, young woman living in New York City should be on the town on a Saturday night. She should be out with her friends, having a grand time–and moreover, she should be meeting young men (or other women, if that’s her thing) in the hopes of engaging in some phone number trading. But as I sit here in front of my computer screen with heavy eyelids, being seduced by my bed and the prospect of an early morning ride in the park, I have a difficult decision in front of me. It’s one I’ve faced many times before. Should I trek to the Lower East Side to meet my friends at a bar, or should I burrow into the delight of my covers?
Let’s explore the maneuverings of these opposing impulses. A cost-benefit analysis if you will. That’s how they do it in the capital markets. (I’m making this up–I have no idea what they do in the capital markets).
On the one hand: Yes, I am single and one day I would like to meet someone with whom I can become a “team”. There are various methods I can employ to recruit this co-captain, and the bar on a weekend night is a heavily favored option. Today’s conventional wisdom says that this is a venue where people meet and get to know one another. And while I am in no rush here and still young, I’m not getting any younger. In fact I am staring 26 down the nose here people. This is just the reality of the situation.
On the other hand (these are basically excuses): It’s almost 11pm! What time can I honestly expect to get up in the morning if I don’t get home until 2am? I’m tired. I was out until 2am last night and isn’t this kind of like a free pass to stay home tonight? And what are the chances that I will really meet someone who I a) want to give my phone number to b) will end up calling me and c) I will then want to see again if we ever do get together? I must add that it is in the mid-40s outside, my journey to the LES involves transfering subways and there are monetary costs associated with drinking and my eventual trip home in a taxi.
But upon further examination I realize it’s not embarassment I feel (since I have plenty of friends and places I could go tonight) but guilt. Am I letting myself down in some way by not at least giving it a shot? After all, I have found that the situations you are least enthusiastic about often end up surprising you. Or maybe I feel like I am letting “society” down by not playing the part I have been assigned? Maybe you all think I should shut up and do whatever I feel like doing. There are hungry people in China after all. Not sure that has anything to do with this, just trying to add some perspective.
It’s now 11:15 and I’m not any closer to a decision. But as I sit here contemplating my next move, I get a text message from Millie that the crowd at the bar is simply “okay.” And that’s all the information I need to go looking for my toothbrush and start turning out the lights. Although it’s less commonly known, riding your bike in the park is a great way to meet people.
1 Comment
March 21, 2007 at 1:51 am
It is an interesting that staying in for the evening, saving cash and sleeping can actually make you feel guilty. I have felt the guilt and I vote for the bike ride in the park. You can meet nice people riding bikes.
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